#kindnessisdead!
Remember when this hashtag was roaming around two-three years ago? What was that all about?
But, I admit it was quite disturbing reading out loud these three little words. I agree to some extent that the world has become rougher. Humans have done a lot to harden the layers of global injustice, and it really does make one wonder...
Where is the kindness that everyone seems to mourn about?
But kindness is a very vague concept. Does it imply being nice? Or does it have a much more complex meaning?
What does kindness mean?
Can you define it?
Perhaps the meaning of kindness is a bit cryptic, which might be part of the problem! To demystify kindness for good, I looked it up in a dictionary, and what I found made me cringe a little.
Kindness, noun
1- The quality of being kind.
2- The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.
And here is why this definition is a bit tricky. If the first suggests that kindness is just being nice or whatsoever, the second keeps the meaning blurry, thus unattainable... As if it was something hard to find in a human being, and perhaps that’s one of the reasons why hashtags like #kindnessisdead travel around social media.
So how to explain kindness?
How to explain it indeed…
Let’s use some analogies, shall we?
Kindness would be like that plant at your window. The better you treat it, the greener it gets, and the happier it will make you feel.
Yes, several studies have shown that people who empathize with others are more likely to be happy. When one decides to shut down empathy, they actually deprive themselves of its benefits, not to mention being more exposed to depression and loneliness.
So, if you want to keep kindness alive, you can’t just ignore it or expect other people to look after it for you. You have to take care of it yourself, keep a close eye on it, and provide the best conditions to blossom. So someday, this plant can have it made in the shade...
Or light; it depends on which plant we're talking about! 😉
In other words,
Kindness is when you genuinely smile at people you don’t know, a genuine smile. It’s when you have 5 dollars to spend on stuff but choose to do something meaningful with it instead, like offering a meal to someone or anything else that will make someone else day. It’s when you try to put yourself in someone else shoes instead of judging them. And it’s when you realize that something convenient for you is deliberately harming others, so you choose to drop it because you know better.
To be clear, I’m not defining kindness; I’m just attempting to illustrate it in a relatable way!
But, to plant kindness, you need the seeds first...
Where are the seeds of kindness?
Kindness could be whenever and wherever you want it to be. There are no magical seeds to pursue. They’re real and within each one of us.
Studies assert that not only is empathy part of our gene pool but also we can upgrade it. In fact, the more we practice it, the bigger empathy-areas in our brain get.
Kindness doesn’t fall out of the sky. Whether in your living room, backyard, balcony, it is to be cultivated in your own soil… And those seeds sprout every time you choose kindness over easiness or convenience.
So, when the harvest season comes, the yield of your place will be rewardingly tasty. It's a LEGACY to be remembered by and to leave behind for the generations to come.
And don’t forget, the seeds of kindness scatter far away. The more people are exposed to kindness, the more they’re likely to spread new seeds all along and grow new plants wherever they go.
The humane ingredient we need the most as a species is free and healthy.
So let's embrace it and spread it as much as we can.
Kindness in modern times.
I've heard some people linking kindness to weakness, and that’s kind of oblivious. Something they say to children, especially to boys:
“Toughen up! Showing kindness is just giving away your weakness!”
Whether in real life or on Tv, you heard it somewhere, right?
The meaning of kindness has been completely twisted. When you share someone's struggle and try to make it better for them. Whether for a neighbor, a community, or even the entire world, it takes commitment, overwhelm, and foremost, hope.
So, I don’t know how weakness could fit here!
Then comes the big issue: Is being kind and showing kindness similar? Frankly, I’m not so sure about that, but I can say that none of them is far-off reach!
Hear me out!
Being kind requires a specific context, like when you greet, speak, or help someone. You are expected to behave in a certain way, the kind way...
That is why being kind sometimes feels more like an automatic response rather than something bursting from within. When you say hi, or when you let an elderly pass first is kind of you. Your gesture is thoughtful, considerate, and also nice. Yet, it's hard to draw the line between being kind and going along with society's codes.
However, showing kindness has nothing to do with what society is expecting from you. It's an active pattern that has to do with your inner self.
Let me explain.
Nothing is compelling you to show kindness. Yet, it's an urge sparking from deep inside. Kindness becomes a sort of compass, guiding you through this journey we call life. It’s not a simple gesture or a momentary action, rather than a constant guideline for every decision you make. Choosing the path of kindness is highly tied to your mindset, your highest standards, your morals, your awareness…you can call it as you’re pleased.
So, having a chit chat with your neighbor and speaking out against inequality is not quite the same thing...
Being Kind is bold, showing kindness is gold!
The Kindness market on social media?
Perhaps people who think kindness is dead are walking on the wrong boulevard. You know how social media works, right? What appears on your feed is partly based on what you search, what you click, who you follow, what you read...
Accordingly, if someone’s social media is jammed with clothing, makeup stuff, video games, or whatsoever, there is not much room left for kindness here. Far beyond that, social media will always keep suggesting them similar content, and that’s how the material world becomes their only truth.
Unfortunately, social media has succeeded in making us less empathetic. Manipulation, propaganda, and constant exposure to hate speech are the best combo to make people tactless. So at the end of the day, we’re more focused on what divides us rather than what unites us.
We all belong to the same species period. And despite what you hear and see, we are similar, equal, and connected.
We share the same feelings like hope, love, grief... We have the same behaviors even though they're concealed under culture. And we aspire to the same things in life even if we don't express them the same way.
But is social media the only one to blame?
Clearly not. There is something called FREE-WILL! So either we engage in a passive journey, complaining about the lack of kindness in the world...
Or choose a different path where we plant the change we want to see!
So, if you’re in the pursuit of kindness, you probably need to carry your quest away from the Kardashian, Xbox, H&M...
Whatever it is... Unfollow the meaningless, superficial, and hate inciting content, and you'll start seeing change around you!
Refresh your feed with inspiring content like Shanti Bhavan, one of my favorite NGOs, which tells stories about amazing kids full of inspiration and hope. Check out content makers such as Dhar Mann, who puts human values before money-thirst.
Shop from ethical brands like Coconut Legacy, Patagonia, or Tentree to build more equality and sustainability.
Subscribe to the Coconut Legacy newsletter, where we share enticing videos, reflective articles, and other meaningful content.
Read books like Be water my friend, or, The universe has your back because love is truly the answer and will always prevail. I mean, how do you think we made it so far?!
Watch The Intouchables, This is us, or any other show that tells stories about everyday humans. Stories that unite us instead of diving us.
All you have to do is to look around!
That's how kindness works.
The more we’re soaked into material things, the more kindness feels like a myth. So perhaps it’s time to update our web preferences, especially in these strange times when we’re entirely relying on them, and start digging for human inspirational content to embrace!
Let us shape our feed instead of being shaped by it.
Final thoughts:
So what does kindness mean?
Kindness is too powerful to be contained in one trivial definition. It is unfair to reduce it to be generous, friendly, and considerate...
But I will say this,
Kindness is as much alive as the dream of a 6 years old kid.
And I’m thrilled to see more hashtags like #kindnessiscontagious, #spreadkindness #kindnessiseverything, and #kindnessmatters wandering for the last couple of years.
People try to do better every day to make a difference in the way they can. Yes, Kindness is also a market that follows the pattern of morality and sustainability, rather than Wall Street trading.
It’s a brand new market, full of possibilities. It doesn’t rush, exploit, or harm. Its rhythm rhymes with the earth’s and people's abilities. So it might seem taking time, but the future is highly tied to this market.
And like that plant in your living-room, nourishing kindness is our hope to make our species bloom, and make room for all in our unique home, planet Earth.
Our lives depend on it.
One more thing,
Would you be so kind as to define kindness in your own words? Be my guest to share any thoughts about that topic.
Share your definition of kindness in the comments below and spread it around you 🙂
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